I have clearly spent too much time away from the ocean, as the dirty, bushy inland city has turned me into a bogan. Apparently all it takes to get me going giggling and screaming is going fast and doing doughies in a 4-wheel drive.
How do I know this? Well, last week the Lifestyle editor asked me if I wanted to go for a ride in a rally car. I had no idea what she was talking about so I said yes.
I was given the mobile phone number of a man named Jason who I was to meet at the Royal Canberra Show on Saturday at 5.15pm at the Toyota Hilux Heros stand. Media passes for the show were organised and dutifully, if not a little hung over, I presented myself at the front gates and was lost in about five seconds.
I called Jason, he found me and led me across the main arena to a row of V6 4-wheel drives:
He stuck a helmet on my head, made me sign my life away and introduced me to my driver – John Boston – a lovely bloke who told me that I didn’t look like I’d pee my pants. I was chuffed to think I appeared tough to a crazy grease head who spent his whole life racing cars, doing tricks and testing vehicles for Top Gear Magazine. But on reflection I just looked like a bit of a tool.
John filled me on what we were going to do kind of – I mean he said stuff about formations and whatnot, but I didn’t know what he was talking about, I just smiled and nodded.
Then we drove around the dusty track and spun around in circles, went backwards really fast and did jumps and things. There were five utes, four doing all these insane tricks around each other and one driven by some dude called Lawrence that spent THE ENTIRE TIME ON TWO WHEELS!! I particularly enjoyed going really fast and turning around back the other way and weaving between the other cars. I wasn’t afraid that we were going to crash and die at any time, but man it was close.
So I unleashed my inner speed freak AND I LOVED IT! It was amazing. It was wild. I laughed and squealed like a girl and I was on an adrenaline high for hours after. Totes recommend it. Here are some videos:
Anyway, I found out I can learn how to do drive like these people. All I need is $400… anyone feel like sponsoring me?